Thirteen Years Later
/It’s been thirteen years since little 15-year-old Maria sat with her parents in a hospital room and watched her brother, Andrew, take his last breath. That last breath signified freedom: freedom from a body which did not serve him for his 20 years of life, freedom from pain and suffering, and freedom to do and see and hear and live in a way he was never able to do here.
My thoughts, thirteen years later, are still scattered and nonsensical, and not well formed enough to put out into the world. I learned a lot on February 28th, 2007, just like I learned a lot the 15 years before that, and just as I continue to learn for the rest of my life. Here’s some things Andrew taught me:
Music is a gift. It can change your mood, connect you to others, and make sense of the thoughts you may not have even known you had.
Be kind to the people who take care of you. Always say thank you, always offer a smile, and if you’re in a bad mood, that’s fine, but try not to take it out on the people around you.
Any person can make a difference - no matter how improbable, you have impact, and you should use that impact to make sure you’re putting out good into the world.
You should be proud of every accomplishment you make. Made your bed this morning? You go, girl. Moved your body when you really didn’t want to? Hell yes. Scheduled that doctor’s appointment? Proud. of. you.
Long distance friendships, relationships, families are to be treated with just as much care and loving as those physically close to us. Text, call, send something, honestly just like an Instagram photo: just let people know you’re thinking of them.
Don’t get embarrassed about stuff. Just don’t. It’s not worth spending time on and you don’t have the right perspective about it.
Root for your favorite team and do it proudly. There’s no shame in being emotionally affected by the outcome of a football game.
Take time for yourself. If you need to take a nap, take a nap. If you need to ask for help, please do.
Use what you’ve got. Know your limitations and use them to carve out your own way to accomplish things.
Be there for people. Do your best to just listen and learn.
Believe that there’s a higher purpose. Whatever that means for you. Make sure you believe in something and work toward bettering yourself in the name of it.
Go outside when you can. It will make you feel better.
Try. Just try.
To learn more about Andrew’s story, click here. Go tell someone you love them. Love you, Andy. ❤️